Habits

It has now been a habit of mine, to report to someone. There are times that I'm reluctant to do so. This isn't only my rights now, matters that involve more than one. This is the world that we're living. A reality that I couldn't escape from. I'm running so fast till I can't catch my breath. The world that accommodated millions, billions or trillions and even more of particles to live as one. It is extremely hard to find the balance of it. I guess, this is the main reason that we fight for our own rights, we argue for our own believes and we eventually created war in order to to gain more. We rather sacrifice the others, we're such a selfish bastards.

I hate to compare myself with the others. I want to live a life that I treasure and happy with. Not filled with stress and anger. There isn't only a way can leads you to success, I'm just using another path that is within my capability and not bothering the others. There is always a junction in life that needs decision. I'm ready for it, and not to regret with my choices.

Sincerely apologize...

Sorry for being incompetent, sorry for disappointing you, sorry for not noticing you soon enough, sorry for not matching your expectancy. I'm just me and I'm really sorry. I'll try my best to work harder to meet my insufficiency. I'll strike for the best in future.

Thank you for all you've given, it is irreplacecible. I'll make use of it to the fullest and build up on it further more.

Bring it on!

Life is so twisted, but that is okay!

Grieving, a process that needs time. Although it won't help, it is the only way to express sadness. Sad of being useless, clueless and most of all worthless. It is time to build up the sense of belonging. Belong to part of the world and contribute to the society. Being stupid isn't a good reason to give up. Work under your ability. Increase your capability by lifelong learning.

I'm not giving up, I'm trying my best to learn in a positive way. Although nothing can be worst for this very moment. Life ain't just this. I'm sure, I'm able to create something good out of this mess. Build up a better me and prepare for future.

I'm sorry to disappoint you, but this won't be it. There is more to come in future. I'll work on what I have and build on more! Prepare myself for a better future!

Thanks for giving me all you can and now it is my turn to give it back! What I've decided might not sounds wise enough for you, but this is what I've decided and I will take the full responsible out of it.

main reason for weight gain!

1. Emotionally unstable AKA Binge eating- it can be emotional when people under pressure, for example food as stress reliever; food reduces stress (mentally only, it increases physical burdens)
2. Irregular meal patterns -not eating main meals on time , snack too much in between meals (decrease satiety and increase the urge of munching).
3. Unnoticeable extra calories - junk food and drinks that are energy dense (aka high calories food) such as confectionery, lollies, potato chips, soft drinks, cordials and etc (having during parties, it is unavoidable calories).
4. Alcohol- the most important drink in the world, that makes us tipsy and gone crazy (it is loading us more than what we needs, esp. in drinking games).
5.Fast food- they're coated with oil that makes you looks big in the end(every grams of fats counts)!

In summary, the reason that we gained weight is due to our consumption is greater than our expenditure (eating in is greater than giving out that very much depends on the physical activity level) . When you are curious why can she eat this much and not gaining as much as you did, you must also think about her workload.

Things you can do to reduce weight, is that JUST STOP EATING AS USUAL, cut down your portion size of foods. Fruit and vegetables is a good option, it increase satiety and low in calorie. In addition, it is good for health! Why not you eat fruits and vegetables more?

A short post to remind myself of why I'm gaining these extra weight that makes me look like a "PIG!" lol. It is so unacceptable!

In love or not, doesn't really matters.

Currently, I'm thinking, are we really in love? Why don't he know what I'm thinking in mind? Why can't he juz understand me? I juz got a tooth surgery done. I know it is not a big matter. I'm still hoping that you can come over to pay me a visit and comfort me a bit... my tooth is really hurting, indeed.

I waited for a day, thinking at the day time he might be busy... been waiting for nothing till the end. I can't hold my tempered anymore. I rang him at night. He doesn't seems to feel anything. Besides, he can tells, I doesn't sounds right. He did asked what happened? but I feel very reluctant to tell him that I'm very angry b'cuz u didn't intend to come over to visit me. I think he should knwo the reason for me being in a ad mood. I was thinking, if he cares about me, he will come over to gimme some comfort naturally. Now only I realise, it is wrong. IT IS SO WRONG!

Forget about it, I'm juz too tired to argue. Let me take a rest... I need fresh air. I don't really wanna trapped in love anymore. At least not deeply blinded in love. I need my own rooms, I can be strong and tough. Being independent is the way to be and the way it should be. Love don't do anygood.

Another runaway~ WOHOO!

It is not the first time but will be the last time.

If this is serious, I'll be more than happy. Just please go away and don't come home.
This is your decision and I do respect y0u as an adult. I reckon all action is done after a deep analyze. Thus, you should know everyone should take a full responsible on their own acts. If this is good for you, please do help yourself, the door is just right in front of you. Go away from us, if this is the best way. Maybe this is not a good solution. I reckon it will be the best solution for now but.

I hate you people. You all ruin my life. You STOPPED us being happy. You'll not have a good prospect in the rest of your life. IDIOTS that create trouble and do not resolve it. Such a reckless middle aged man. Just know how to demand, but not thinking of what he has give in. FXXX OFF! Before you ask for sth, please do think that do you worth for it? Stupid asshole.

Being critical... that is the only way.

I think critical thinking is making its way to our life.
People used to says, "love is blind." I don't belief it anymore, when it comes back to reality, love is not blind anymore... We must be down on earth about how is the LOVE we think, gonna work out in our life.
I don't think I can find the dream lover, but I'm able to have a reliable partner.
We used to ask each other, among our friends, will you like you're couple to love you more than you love him/her? Some one prefer to be loved, whereas the others prefer to love. I think I prefer to be loved- it is selfish, i reckon. If you love one more, you'll be more vulnerable to get hurt than anyone in the relationship- my rationale. I know the best way is equal love, but this equal relationship will not exist. To give in or compromise all time, will eventually have a massive explosion, I deeply belief on.
I'm in doubt on us, will you be the one? Will I being able to give up everythg and walk to you? All these question will not be answered. There is no rooms for us to discuss about all this, we'll always end up in big fights. Thus, I avoid it all time- I know I shouldn't. But all I know is that I have my own burden to bare on, I need my rooms to breath in fresh air. If there is too much restrictions, it is like suffocating me.
My dear boy, can you please think in my point of view? I love you, but I can't compromised any further. MY LIMITS GETs BEYOND WHAT I COULD GIVE. Don't demand too much, I'm no different- I'm just another lay person.
I really hope things will work, but if it doesn't- no complains. We're different after all.