words...

Words that i can't anyone. Words that i kept in my heart for all this time. Words that i need to release it, before I just break and fall apart inside me.

I hate my relationship. It always makes me feel crappy. Why must we all suffer? I hate it. I really FUXK UP in my relationship! WE've being together 5 years- 2 years together and 3 years apart. I'm at australia and you're in m'sia- 8 hours flight! Damn, is this the only difference between us? Nope, for sure. There are more than this we should take care of.

Ｗｅ　ｈａｖｅ　ｄｉｆｆｅｒｅｎｔ　ｐｅｒｓｐｅｃｔｉｖｅｓ　ａｎｄ　ａｒｇｕｍｅｎｔ　ａｒｉｓｅ．　Ｄａｍｎ！　Ｉ　ｒｅａｌｌｙ　ｔｈｉｎｋ　ａｒｇｕｍｅｎｔ　ｉｓ　ｃａｓｕａｌ　ｔｏ　ｂｅ　ｉｎ　ａ　ｒｅｌａｔｉｏｎｓｈｉｐ．　Ｗｈｙ　ｍｕｓｔ　Ｉ　ａｌｗａｙｓ　ｇｉｖｅ　ｉｎ？　Ｐｐｌ　ｕｓｅｄ　ｔｏ　ｂｅｌｉｅｖｅ，　ｉｆ　ｙｏｕ　ｌｏｖｅ　ｙｏｕｒ　ｐａｒｔｎｅｒ　ｍｏｒｅ　ｔｈａｎ　ｈｅ／ｓｈｅ　ｄｏｅｓ；　ｙｏｕ＇ｌｌ　ｓｕｆｆｅｒ　ｌｏｔｓ．　Ｉ　ｂｅｌｉｅｖｅ　ｉｔ　ｎｏｗ．　Ｂｕｔ　Ｉ　ｓｔｉｌｌ　ｎｏｔ　ｃｌｅａｒ　ｗｉｔｈ　ｍｙ　ｆｅｅｌｉｎｇｓ　ｒｉｇｈｔ　ｎｏｗ．　Ｄｏ　ｉ　ｌｏｖｅ　ｙｏｕ　ｍｏｒｅ　ｏｒ　ｈａｔｅ　ｙｏｕ　ｍｏｒｅ？　Ｉ　ｈａｔｅ　ｉｔ　ｗｈｅｎ　ｙｏｕ　ｓｈｏｗ　ｍｅ　ｙｏｕｒ　ｆａｃｅ－ｋｉｎｄａ　ｇｉｖｅ　ｕｐ　ｂ＇ｃｕｚ　ｙｏｕ　ｔｈｏｕｇｈｔ　ｔｈａｔ　ｉ＇ｍ　ｈｏｐｅｌｅｓｓ？Ａｍ　Ｉ　ｔｈａｔ　ｂａｄ　ｔｈｏ？　ｔｈｉｓ　ｉｓ　ｉｍｐｏｓｓｉｂｌｅ，　ｉ　ｒｅｃｋｏｎ．　Ｉ＇ｍ　ｓｔｉｌｌ　ｎｏｔ　ｔｈｅ　ｗｏｒｓｔ　ｔｙｐｅ　ｏｆ　ｇｉｒｌ　ｙｏｕ　ｃａｎ　ｆｉｎｄ　ｉｎ　ｔｈｉｓ　ｗｏｒｌｄ．Ｔｈｉｓ　ｆｅｅｌｓ　ｌｉｋｅ　ｓｈｉｔ！　Ｉｔ　ｒｅａｌｌｙ　ｄｏｅｓ．　

ＢＴＷ，　Ｉ　ｄｏｎ＇ｔ　ｒｅａｌｌｙ　ｗａｎｔ　ｔｏ　ｆｉｇｈｔ　ａｎｙ　ｌｏｎｇｅｒ．．．　ｓｉｃｋ　ｏｆ　ａｌｌ　ｔｈｉｓ　ｓｈｉｔｓ．　Ｉ　ｒａｔｈｅｒ　ｇｉｖｅ　ｕｐ　ｏｎ　ｕｓ，　ｉｆ　ｔｈｉｓ　ｍｕｓｔ　ｂｅ　ｃｏｎｔｉｎｕｅ．　Ｉ　ｒｅｃｋｏｎ　Ｉ＇ｖｅ　ｗｏｒｊ　ｈａｒｄ　ｅｎｏｕｇｈ　ｉｎ　ｔｈｉｓ　ｒｅｌａｔｉｏｎｓｈｉｐ．　Ｉ　ｔｒｉｅｄ　ｍｙ　ｂｅｓｔ　ｔｏ　ｇｉｖｅ　ｗｈａｔｅｖｅｒ　ｉ　ｃｏｕｌｄ．　

Ｙｏｕ　ｊｕｓｔ　ｎｅｖｅｒ　ｃｈａｎｇｅ，　ｙｏｕ＇ｒｅｓｏ　ｓｅｌｆ－ｃｅｎｔｒｅｄ．Ｉｎ　ｙｏｕｒ　ｍｉｎｄ，　ｅｖｅｒｙｏｎｅ　ａｒｅ　ｊｕｓｔ　ａ　ｃｈｅｓｓ　ｉｎ　ｙｏｕｒ　ｗｏｒｌｄ．　Ｎｏ　ｏｎｅ　ｃａｎ　ｂｅ　ｉｍｐｏｒｔａｎｔ　ｆｏｒ　ｙｏｕ　ｉｎｃｌｕｄｅｓ　ｍｅ．　Ｉ　ｋｎｅｗ　ｔｈａｔ　ａｎｄ　ｆｅｅｌ　ｂａｄ　ｆｏｒ　ｉｔ．　Ｉ　ａｌｗａｙｓ　ａｖｏｉｄ　ｔｏ　ｍｅｎｔｉｏｎｅｄ　ｔｈａｔ　ｃｕｚ　Ｉ　ｋｎｅｗ　ｉｔ　ｃａｎ　ｈｕｒｔ　ｍｅ　ｂａｄｌｙ．　Ｉ＇ｍａｃｔｉｎｇ　ｌｉｋｅ　ａｎ　ｏｓｔｒｉｃｈ－ｔｒｙｉｎｇ　ｔｏ　ｃｏｖｅｒｅｄ　ｍｙ　ｈｅａｄ　ｉｎ　ｔｈｅ　ｓａｎｄｓ　ａｎｄ　ｐｒｅｔｅｎｄ　ｔｏ　ｋｎｏｗ　ｎｏｔｈｉｎｇ．　Ｔｈｉｓ　ｉｓ　ｓｏ　ｓｔｕｐｉｄ　ｏｆ　ｍｅ．　Ｔｉｌｌ　ｗｈｅｎ　ｉ　ｎｅｅｄ　ｔｏ　ｌｅａｒｎ　ｔｏ　ｂｅ　ｓｔｒｏｎｇ？　Ｔｉｌｌ　ｗｈｅｎ　Ｉ　ｃａｎ　ｂｅ　ｉｎｄｅｐｅｎｄｅｎｔ？　Ｉ　ｒｅｌｙ　ｔｏｏｏ　ｍｕｃｈ　ｏｎ　ｙｏｕ，　ｔｉｌｌ　ｔｈａｔ　Ｉ＇ｍ　ｔｏｔａｌｌｙ　ｆｒｅａｋ　ｏｕｔ　ｔｏ　ｅｖｅｎ　ｔｈｉｎｋ　ｔｈａｔ　ｙｏｕ　ｗｏｎ＇ｔ　ｂｅ　ｔｈｅｒｅ　ｆｏｒ　ｍｅ　ａｎｙｍｏｒｅ．Ｉ　ｂｅｇ　ｆｏｒ　ｙｏｕｒ　ｆｏｒｇｉｖｅｎｅｓｓ．　Ｉ　ｂｅｇ　ｆｏｒ　ｉｔ　ｓｏ　ｄｅｓｐｅｒａｔｅｌｙ　ｔｉｌｌ　Ｉ　ｔｈｏｕｇｈｔ　ｔｈａｔ　Ｉ　ｌｏｓｔ　ｍｙ　ｐｒｉｄｅ　ａｎｄ　ｄｉｇｎｉｔｙ．　Ｙｏｕ　ｊｕｓｔ　ｐｕｓｈｅｓ　ｔｏ　ｍｕｃｈ－Ｉ　ｆｅｅｌ　ｌｉｋｅ　ｙｏｕ　ｄｏｎ＇ｔａｃｔｕａｌｌｙ　ｌｏｖｅｓ　ｍｅ．　Ａｌｌ　ｙｏｕ　ｗａｎｔｓ　ｉｓ　ａ　ｐｕｐｐｅｔ　ｔｈａｔ　ｄｏ　ａｎｄ　ｄｏｅｓ　ｔｈｉｎｇｓ　ｏｎ　ｙｏｕｒ　ｆａｖｏｒ．　Ｔｈｅｙ　ｈａｖｅ　ｎｏ　ｌｉｆｅ，　ｎｏ　ｆｕｎ　ａｎｄ　ｎｏ　ｔｈｏｕｇｈｔｓ．　Ｔｈｉｓ　ｗｉｌｌ　ｂｅ　ｙｏｕｒ　ｉｄｅａｌ　ｐａｒｔｎｅｒ，　ａｍ　Ｉ　ｒｉｇｈｔ？　

Ｕｎｆｏｒｔｕｎａｔｅｌｙ，　Ｉ＇ｍｊｕｓｔ　ａｎｏｔｈｅｒ　ｌａｙ　ｍａｎ，　ｗｉｔｈ　ｓｅｌｆｉｓｈ　ｔｈｏｕｇｈｔｓ　ａｎｄ　ｎｅｅｄｓ．　Ｉ　ｎｅｅｄ　ｓｏｍｅｏｎｅ　ｔｈａｔ　ｌｏｖｅ　ｍｅ　ｔｏｏ．　Ｉ　ｃａｎ＇ｔｇｉｖｅ　ｉｎ　ｆｏｒ　ｍｙ　ｗｈｏｌｅ　ｌｉｆｅ．　Ｉ　ｎｅｅｄ　ｓｏｍｅ　ｏｎｅ　ｔｏ　ｐａｍｐｅｒｅｄ　ｍｅ　ｔｏｏ．　Ｉ　ｎｅｅｄ　ｍｏｒｅ　ｔｈａｎ　ｙｏｕ　ｋｎｏｗ．　Ｗｉｌｌ　ｙｏｕ　ｅｖｅｎ　ｔｒｙ　ｔｏ　ｆｉｔ　ｉｎ　ｍｙ　ｓｈｏｅｓ？Ｃａｎ＇ｔ　ｙｏｕ　ｂｅ　ａ　ｌｉｔｔｌｅ　ｍｏｒｅ　ｃａｒｉｎｇ？　Ｗｈｙ　ｃａｎ＇ｔ　ｙｏｕ？　Ｉｔ　ｍａｋｅｓ　ｍｅ　ｓｏ　ｈａｒｄ　ｔｏ　ｔａｌｋ　ｔｏ　ｙｏｕ，　ｗｈｅｎ　ｙｏｕ＇ｒｅ　ｏｎ　ｓｕｃｈ　ａ　ｈｉｇｈ　ｐｉｔｃｈ．　Ｉ　ｊｕｓｔ　ｈａｔｅ　ｙｏｕ　ｓｈｏｕｔｉｎｇ　ａｔ　ｍｅ．．．