Scolding means... caring?

We Chinese believe, when someone scolded you, means that they do care about you. They show their concern on you. Although, I reckon that it is correct, it is still hurting when the scolding is on wrong timing.

I lost my purse, I'm so messed up and I try to find a place for comfort. All I have when i get to reach people at that moment was scolding and blaming.

Today, I get a call from daddy- he sounds so nice. I know he is angry as well but he just speak it through. Thank you, dad. When my dad passed it to mom, she yelled at me. This is really hurting. She said, "serve you right, always being so careless and I'm worried about you and your future. I think you gonna failed for your subjects. You better stop from your study, since it is worthless. ' At this very moment, I have mixed feeling. I know she say this without really thinking of the outcome of it. She might not even noticed she hurts me so deeply. I've loss to make an effort to tell her I found my purse again- I'm lucky enough. I just stay silent and listened to all she has to say. Me thinking silently, in the purse, all the money is my money, mom. I earned them with my labor work. After I lost them, I'm crying- inside me as well. I tried so hard to pretend that I don't care and I will work harder to earn it back. I know how hard daddy works for us. I know more than you do. I know daddy is struggling for us, mom. Bare with me 2 more years, I can do it as well. I'll earn all you gave and pay you back. I'm aiming for it. I'm trying really hard. When you said those words, it hurts, it really does. I can feel as if the knife stabbed right into my heart.

Deep down inside me is full of scar, you didn't realize that all her words do count and accumulates. I hope not to mentally breakdown. This is not the first time for all this hurtful words and i know it won't be the last time. I'm trying to avoid to hear all this words, therefore being in-denial serve the best. This is so pathetic isn't it? I should forget the negative side of it and move on.

Why can't people think ways in both sides? Why they always blame you before they know the truth?

Mom, I'm sorry to spend more than you expected to- grow me up. I'll for sure pay back, no matter how hard it takes. I swear, I'll repay you even it take a life time. Dad, I always do feel guilty for you, there is no doubt on that- I'm sorry again. I bet you'll not have such a daughter like me in your next life- I wished you to have a good life. Sorry that I've to always burdened you. This will be the last I've ever need from you dad, please bare with me. It is coming to an end for sure.

Folks, always think at the the pros and cons. Nothing can ever be perfect.